after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
