Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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