You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
