I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
