what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
