i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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