You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
