i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
