I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
