oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
