My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
