Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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