This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
