I can't breathe out the right side of my face
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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