there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
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Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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