I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
