no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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