Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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