It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Found your dick twin last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
