No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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