Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
high people should be assigned attendants
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
