Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
