i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
