talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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