But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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