420 ftw
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
my liver is dry heaving
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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