so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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