God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize