Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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