I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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