During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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