I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
