I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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