theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
