my phone needs a breathalizer
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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