i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
