My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
