Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
