my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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