I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize