so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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