I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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