i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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