Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
