Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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