Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
