just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize