Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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