I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize