it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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