he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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