We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
